If you have had numerous experiences with the beloved bar girls of Pattaya, Bangkok or anywhere else, I’m sure at some point you have a Crazy Thai Bar Girl experience where you’re like WTF?
I’ve had my share of crazies but over the years I’ve tried to weed out the loons before I pull the trigger, however, some still slip through the cracks.
Here is an example of one of the crazy situations that can arise in the LOS; it’s one of my more memorable experiences, and I’m not talking about the good kind.
A Night Out On Soi Cowboy
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So I’m on Soi Cowboy in Bangkok about five years ago with a buddy of mine and we are making our rounds and checking out the talent.
We both end up finding a girl in the same bar and decide to make a move. He barfines his girl and doesn’t want to waste any time and takes her straight home.
I bar fined mine shortly after he did, but we weren’t going to go straight home. I was going to take mine for a few more drinks and to shoot some pool.
We were both living in the Bangkok area at the time but it was quite a hike from Soi Cowboy.
A taxi ride on the tollway would take between 30-40 minutes to get home from the popular night spot.
So we usually made sure that the girls were OK to go all that way and then we would just make sure it was a long-time situation.
After having a couple more drinks and a couple of games of pool, it was time to head back to the crib.
Everything was going fine to this point, we were goofing around in the backseat of the taxi and I was playing with her phone.
Bar girls love their phones you know.
Anyway, we exchanged numbers, just in case I wanted to see her again.
As we continued on the tollway she started to mumble “This far, where we go?”
To my apartment I said.
I explained where I was staying earlier in the night and made sure she didn’t have any problems going out there.
I have taken many girls from downtown out to my apartment and none of them have given me any problems with the distance.
As long as they got paid, and I gave them taxi money the next day, they were good to go.
I really wasn’t paying too much attention to what she was saying, I didn’t think it was going to be a problem.
The Fun Begins – Crazy Thai Bar Girl
As we got closer, her mumblings started to get louder.
My apartment was about 300 meters off of the main road and it was rather dark as you twist and turn down the Soi.
There really weren’t any street lights, a lot of trees, and the Soi dogs were always out in force at night.
As the taxi let us out in front of my apartment, she is reluctant to get out.
Come on I said, she hesitated and then got out.
I paid the driver and then he took off rather quickly.
Now she starts speaking in Thai “gluaa phee, gluaa phee” which means scared of ghosts.
My Thai was OK and I knew what she was saying.
I also knew that Thais have a thing for ghosts, but I’ve never really seen anyone paralyzed by the fear of a ghost like this bird was.
Although she could have just been faking it just to go home, I doubt it because she would have tried that well before we traveled all this way.
So I say “don’t worry, there aren’t any ghosts in my room.
Let’s just go on upstairs, I have electricity and everything.”
She is almost paralyzed, she won’t move; she’s just sitting on a bench at the entrance to my apartment just saying the same words over and over.
So I keep trying to coax her to get her ass up in the room.
I’m a bit drunk and irritated that she is just sitting there. “What do you want to do?” I ask. “Do you want to go back home?”
As if that was a good option, she would have to walk about 300 meters back to the main road through a pack of Soi dogs and very dark conditions.
If she was truly scared that wasn’t the best option. She didn’t really answer that question, however.
So I keep saying “Just come on upstairs, everything will be fine.” She still doesn’t want to budge, still saying the same words over and over.
Now I’m beyond pissed.
After 10 minutes of me trying to get her to simply move one way or the other I said “Either get your ass upstairs or let’s go back and get you a taxi and you can just go home.”
“You can’t just sit here.”
She still wasn’t moving.
Then I realized as we were driving in and her fear of ghosts was overtaking her, I had held onto her phone.
So I pulled out her phone and started walking towards the road because now I wanted her gone.
Even if I got her upstairs, the mood was ruined and I didn’t want to deal with her anymore.
Maybe Short-Time Would Have Been Better
As I started walking to the road I was furious that she was acting like a little baby and I just wasted my night on her.
I then turned to her and said “Hey, do you want your phone? You’d better follow me if you want it” She then got up and said, “Give me my phone!”
She didn’t realize she didn’t have it, and just like that, all the fear of ghosts quickly evaporated.
Now she’s up off her ass and moving quickly toward me.
I then turn and said, “You want your phone huh?” She says “Give me my phone, that’s my life!” I was like really, your life huh?
I then say “Well if it’s your life, you’re going to have to go get it!” I then threw it as hard as I could into the open field on the left side of the road.
It was a muddy, sloppy field with some grass and weeds mixed in about eight to ten inches high.
It was recently just mowed because the weeds were so big in there that it used to be like a mini-jungle.
In the dark, I knew it was going to be almost impossible to find.
I then just hear her screaming and as I turned around, she was running as fast as she could to stop me, I just felt a whack on the left side of my head and neck.
She smashed me with her handbag, cutting my neck in the process with a metal piece on her bag (although it wasn’t all that bad).
She then started swinging at me and I pushed her off of me and ran back towards the apartment.
I’ve never hit a girl in my life and I wasn’t going to start now.
I raced to the front door, used my key card, buzzed myself in, closed the door quickly, and went up to my apartment which was only on the second floor, and faced the street where she is now stranded.
The security guard was asleep out back (of course) and had no knowledge of what was going on.
Now I’m up in my room. I didn’t turn the lights on because I didn’t want her to know which room I was in and I crept out on the balcony to try to see what she was doing.
She is now down on the street pacing back and forth, yelling for me to come get her phone.
I thought, doesn’t she know there are ghosts out there? Ghosts weren’t the problem now.
She was rightfully pissed and when a Thai girl is at this level of anger, those ghosts she was so scared of would have fled in a heartbeat.
I just threw her “life” into a field of muck, it’s 2 A.M in a part of town she doesn’t know, and she’s in 4-inch heels.
I also decided against going down and helping her so she’s on her own.
I continued watching her ever so carefully from my balcony just to see what she is up to and then I thought, I better give my friend a call and see if he can help me out with this debacle.
So I called him up and told him what has happened, he said “Give me a few minutes and we’ll come over and take care of her.”
He was taking care of business so he said he was going to finish and then come over to help. He just lived right around the corner, about a three-minute walk at the most.
So I went back into my apartment, and laid down on the bed in the dark, still able to hear her down on the street yelling whatever she was yelling in Thai.
I thought great, everyone in the apartment is going to hear her. After a few minutes, things got quiet outside.
So I continued to lie there, waiting for my buddy to show up, but he was taking his time and I can’t really fault him for that; he picked the right girl.
Whereas I picked a nut case and then chucked her phone in a field and then all hell broke loose.
If You Haven’t Had Your Life Threatened By A Thai Bar Girl, Are You Even Mongering?
So after about twenty minutes or so, my phone rang, I thought great, my friend is calling to tell me he’s on his way, but it was her.
Somehow she found her phone! She starts saying “I kill you, you dead, my friend kill you…” and then I hung up.
I rushed to peek toward the street to see where she was but I couldn’t see her. The phone rang again, it was her.
Same shit “You dead, I kill you…” click.
I hung up again. She calls back again but now I won’t even answer. So I decided to just turn the phone off.
I knew that when my friend arrived, he would let me know what was going on.
After about another ten minutes he shows up. I hear him calling my name from the street to come downstairs.
I looked outside and saw my buddy and his girl so I went down.
The nut case was nowhere to be found, but she left her shoes at the entrance to the apartment.
So I further explained to my buddy what had happened and he said not to worry much. His girl grabbed her shoes and they went back to his place.
My best guess was that the headcase went to the payphone across from my apartment, called her phone, and then tracked it down from its ringtone.
She then probably made her way out to the main road and caught a taxi and went home, without any shoes.
She continued to call me and threaten me with text messages for the next two days until I decided I just had to go get a new SIM card.
Needless to say, I avoided the bar where I picked her up for quite a while.
I really didn’t want to run into her again just in case she snapped and went ballistic on me.
You know they have good memories and I’m sure she didn’t forget my face.
Besides, that’s the last thing I want to do is get into a physical confrontation with anyone in the bar industry since many of them can be unstable and unpredictable.
At least she did get her phone back.
Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have thrown it in the mucky field like that, but I just wanted to see her try to find her phone in that crap.
As well as seeing the reaction on the taxi driver’s face when he picked her up with muddy feet and no shoes; but what about those ghosts?
This story was sent in by a reader and I thought it would work well as a kind of “warning” as to what kind of night you could possibly be in for when picking a random Thai bar girl to take back to your place in Thailand.
If you’re interested in learning more about Thailand’s Redlight Scene check out our Thailand Nightlife Guides here.